Why Won't My Sidewalk Grow?

                Every morning, I look out my front window to see massive puddles surrounding all of the sidewalks and walkways around my place.  Was there a thunderstorm last night?  No.  It’s just the sprinklers giving the sidewalks their daily soaking.  The sprinkler system is set to go off every day, whether or not it is needed.  I have yet to figure out exactly what schedule they follow, as it seems almost random, day and night.  What I am sure of, is that I will have to jump and leap around the puddles just so I don’t get my feet wet.  

                Now I am not a fanatical “save the earth” type of person, but I do believe in being responsible and not wasteful.  I like a nice luscious green lawn as much as the next person, but is it really necessary?  I feel that other than on the golf course, it does not really make a difference if grass is thick and green or not.  But, my real issue here is the completely useless and unnecessary sprinkler system that is installed for all of the houses on my street.  There is one sprinkler that seems like it’s only purpose is to see how high up it can shoot.  It is not directed at any particular area of grass, just shoots straight up in the air about 10 to 15 feet high.  Another one reminds me of a nice water fountain that you would see in a small backyard pond, just gushing and bubbling out in one flow, creating a nice pool of water right at my neighbor’s front step.  The ones right outside my door sure do a fine job of watering my sidewalk, as the two sprinklers seems to be directed right at the concrete. 

                I have an issue with the sprinklers around the back of my house because they seem to go off at irregular times, but always between 1:00 am and 5:00 am.  This wouldn’t be an issue, except for when they turn on, it sounds like my house is coming under siege by an army of fire hose wielding soldiers.  They are so loud, that if I was able to fall asleep somewhat early that night, I will definitely be woken up. Half asleep, startled and perplexed, it will take a moment or two to realize that I am not under attack.   

                The lawns in my area look okay, not great but not brown and dying.  But I just can’t seem to see any difference in my sidewalks!  They just don’t seem to be responding to all of the lovely water that they are given daily, and definitely haven’t grown thicker or stronger.  Even though October is just around the corner, the sprinklers are still going off, just to make sure the grass is still being nourished.  I think it is about time to turn off the system for the year.  The grass surely will turn brown soon, and I would love to be able to sleep through the night, and not have to avoid all of the puddles on a daily basis.   

Big Earl

      You would think that two over-sized men, one dressed as a horse and the other a unicorn, barreling down the street towards me with scantily clad women throwing flower petals in tow, would have been the strangest encounter of the night, but little did I know this evening had quite the adventure in store for me.  A few beverages later, scenes from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas start flickering off in my head.  What have I gotten myself into?

      I had stumbled upon a street festival, unlike anything I have ever seen in my home town. Not one for the arts, crowds or anything out of the ordinary for that matter, you have to understand how truly unusual this was for me.  There were people in costumes everywhere, from dancers, to entertainers to people who I am sure just like to be different. Contortionists bending in ways I never knew possible.  Flame throwers, knife wielders, even bubble blowers. There were fortune tellers offering up everything I never wanted to know.  There were masseuses willing to rub me down.  Flashy jewellery, tattoos, pieces of what some might call art, random animals walking about, just so much to take in!  A woman in a fuzzy housecoat, slippers and curlers came up to me, wanting me to pay to play Truth or Dare in a small tent with strangers.  I declined the offer promptly.  “Hey you, you want the Big Earl?”… I’m sure a look of pure horror, confusion and bewilderment froze on my face as I quickly darted in the opposite direction, as I neither wanted to know what the Big Earl was, or find out who it belonged to.  

      What started off the same as any number of business trips I have taken over the years, quickly turned into one that I will never forget.  I was talked into “living it up a little” and going on an adventure to see a city I have been to so many times, and yet have never really seen.  What I did experience is a city that embraces the arts, quite unlike the city I call home.  It will be a night that I will never forget, and perhaps, next time, may even look forward to.

Hello Everyone.